A Killing Spree, Sex, and Baby Sexy Time
by ElixirStar
Summary: what happens when a killing spree sex and baby sexy time all occur at the same time? JAPAN
1. BABY SEXY TIME

A Killing Spree, Sex and Baby Sexy Time

Chapter 1: Three's Company

America and China were having sex

America didn;t use a condom

UH OH BABY SEXY TIME

China had a baby named Aaliyah

"oh no" China screamed

HE HAD 2 BABYZZ

He named the other Chuyaequ

Germany and Italy were molesting each other

Germany didn't use a condom

UH OH SEXY BABY TIME

Italy had a baby named Prussia

THUS PRUSSIA WAS BORN

ROMANO HAD SEX WITH HUNGARY

NO NON NOONONNONON

WHAT TIME IS IT?

Baby…sexy…time…

Hungry had a baby named Diana

Diana, Aaliyah, Prussia, and Chuyaequ all died

They were killed by the all mighty, the all powerful THE ALL WEIRDFUL….

….

…

.

.

.

.

..

.

.

.

.

..

.

R-U-S-S-I-A

…who had a baby with France named Shalmongalongalongadingdong

THE END OF CHAPTER ONE


	2. FUNERAL!

A Killing Spree, Sex, and Baby Sexy Time

Chapter 2: FUNERAL!

GERMANY IS TUTU

HE AND TUTU HAD SEX

THEY HAD A KID NAMED HOPBOP

HopBop was killed by Tutu

:(((((

FUNERAL!

"everyone mourns HopBop" the preset said

"i have a question" Japan stood up

"what" the priest asked

"i love you italy" Japan and Italy got naked and began to rub their cocks together, it was so hot

"i just got a boner" Italy exclaimed

Japan died from Italy's massive cock suffocating him

THE END OF CHAPTER TWO


	3. HOLY JESUS

Chapter 3: LEARN IT

*SCHOOL*

SPAIN SPAIN SPAIN SPAIN SPAIN IS MY FAVVVEEEE

GOD HE \S SO HOT

HAHha

g

s

s

f

df

df

d

fd

f

i'm so high

Anyway,

Spain and Romano were in class when they just starting having sex

Spain and Romano had a baby named Spano

Spano was a hunk with the ladies even at birth

But he had a secret

HE WAS GAY

:O :O :O :O :O :O ;O ;O.

SHOCKED FACES ON

He met the ghost of Prussia and he killed him

Why are all the children dying? Who cares just enjoy the damn story push over

turn up the radio batch

Anyway,

Hungray and Germany, who was crushed by italy's infidelity, had sex and they had twins

GUess what they named them

ITALY!

AND….

PASSSTTTTAAAAAAA~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WOOOOOOO

Italy and Pasta~ were gay as well

RAINBOW PRUD KAY KAY KISSES

Incest occurred and they had a baby named Prock

They sadly all died in a car accident

but someone saved them rom death

that's right…

SWITZERLAND!

HE HAS MAGICAL POWERS LIKE BRICKING JESUS KAY KAY KISSES

Switzerland saved their lives with his magicl powers that Liech and Sealand gave him

Italy, Pasta~, and Prock knew they had to mke it up to Switz so they killed Liech and Sealand as a way to thank you

ANNOYING BITCHES ARE NOW DEAD

YOUR BIG BORTHER CAN'T HELP YOU NOW AND SEALANS, YOU LITTLE SMALL ASS COUNTRY AHAHAHAHA PATHETIC LAALLALAALLAALAA

CHAPTER END 3 END


	4. AIDS

Chapter 5: AIDS

I NEVER FELT

ROYYY

HAAAAHAHAHA

China…I CHOOSE YOU

TO HAVE MY BABY….AGAIN

America and China had another baby and they named it 556

BOOM BOOM

BABY…

SEXY…

TIME…

TUTU IS BAAAAACCCCKKKKKK

TUTU IS THE BAD GUY MWAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAA I SUCK

Tutu killed 556

FUNERAL 2

Ludie and Felly had sex but wait

HE REMEMBERED THAT LUDDIE CHEATED

ITALY SLAPPED LUDDIE AND HE DIED

"Finally… die bitch" Felly screamed

SING SONG CHINA'S GONE

PLEASE

DON'T LET CHINA DIE

"Revive" Switzerland shouted

CHINA WAS REVIVED BY THE AMAZING SWITZERLAND

**Later that night..,**

China and Switzerland had sex

NO BABY SEXY TIME (sad baby face)

abortion

sex

China contracted AIDS

"Oh shit you ching chong ding dong shalom bye" He died five second later

"Sorry… everyone gets one" SWTIZ!

FUCKING LOVE HIM

HAAAAAAAA BASTARD

DIE

DOE

SING SONG CHINA''S GONE


	5. FINALLY

**Chapter 6**

**FINALLY**

Sealand strutted out in a thong

UK got a boner

had sex yeah yeah

had a kid named Wanker

BABY SEXY TIME!

SAY IT AGAIN!

BABY…SEXY…TIME

"Less is more blabby" UK showed his dick to Sealand

"Start sucking" And so he did

He died from shock of UK's small cock

HAAA BUETEREEETEE

AND THE WORLD SPINS…

EVERYONE'S FUCKKING DEAD

**MEANWHILE….EJOY THE STORY YOU HATING DUMBASS **

America and UK finally had a baby (I like them together )

And they named it Hungary

OH NO HUNGARY

YEAH LET'S KILL HER TOO

Hungary died from the choir singing with their horrible voices

And yeah…

AND SO THAT ENDS THIS STORY

BYE

NOT!

HAHAHAHA

IT'S NOT OVER BITCHES AND YOU THOUGHT BERTHA STOPPED TOOTIN'

WELL SHE HASN'T SO TAKE A FUCKING NUMBER AND SIT DOWN


	6. TWINS

"Oh hell naw" Austria screamed while shoving a giant piano up his schozzzz

Everyone mourned over the death of Hungary

Her frying pan will not molest anyone else ever again

"Look Belarus" Austria moaned

He and Russia were making passionate love

"Fuck you Austria i want to join"

and join she did

The three of them had a baby named Seychelles

Seychelles was so cute OMGGGG have u seen here like fo serious

One day Ukraine came over Austria's house to see Seychelles

Austria wouldn't let her, Belarus hates Russia for getting her pregnant and Russia is as happy as ever

right? WRONGGGG

Ukraine is like the only smart cookie *stares at her chest* UMMMMMM nothings going on

Russia fill with overwhelming glee raped Belarus's heart out and now they had a second baby OMGGGGGGG TWINSSSSS

Welcome Africa and Congo to the world

OOOPS BLACK BABIEZ

I WONDER WHO THE DA DADDY/MUMMY IS 8)

FIND OUT IN CHAPTER 7 BITCHEZZZ

I LOVE YOU ALLLL


	7. SWITZ

**OMG CHAPTER 7 BITCHES**

**WHO IS THE FATHER? SWITZERLAND **

**AND **

**THE**

**MOTHER**

**IS**

**BELARUS**

**OMMMGGGGG**

**RUSSIA YOU SUCK HAHAHAAHHAAH **

**DEAD**

* * *

**"help me" Russia was falling out of a tree**

**"fuck you" Belarus let him fall**

**"**Пожалуйста, помогите мне"

"no one speaks Russian you fat ass" Belarus stormed of. and left Russia to die HAHAHAHAHAAH ur ded

* * *

Switzerland, using his goddess talent, revived Hungary and married her

they made a kid named DaAngie

"I love you Austria"

BITCCHHHH MY NAME BE SWITZ DO U WANT ME TO SEND U BACK DOWN TO THE GRAVE BECUAS I CAN

* * *

meanwhile, Cuba got hit by a bus and his fat rolled over his body is splat over the street Baiiiii

who was driving the bus?!

FIND OUT IN CHAPTER 8 HAAAAAAAAA YOU FAIL AT LIDE ID YOU DON'T LIKE HETALIA 33333333333333333333333333


	8. SMEXY SMEX

**Welcome to Chapter 8 **

guess what time it is

_BABY... SEXY... TIME..._

Austria and Belarus had **smexy smex** and they made a horrid baby named Rolf

Rolf looked like an printer and everyone hated him

so to get revenge on everyone he had** sex** with Switz

Switz hated Rolf but his 17-year-old big ass **cock** was too hard to resist

So they made a baby named Elixir

Elixir lived in Canada for most of her life (her father was Canada after all; he dressed up as Rolf so he could make babies)

Until one day her house burned down and all of her dolls were dead

Now she and Canada live in Austria's £6.000.000 mansion with Switz, Hungary, Belarus, Russia and Ukraine

Super fun timezz

* * *

"ur a walrus" Belarus snapped at Austria

this fucking mansion u prick

baiiii

in chapter 9 someone dies MWAHAHAAHAHAAHAH bye


	9. BYE ESTONIA I MEAN CUBA

Wwelcome to chapter 9 hoess

bye estonia you fat fuck go die in mcdonalds

did I say Estonia I meant Cuba biiiitttttccchhhhh

yeah that's righthoney bunches of oats guess who'sleading the pack now sweet bullies

ukraine's bust is 99Q okay love it or hate it that is the question

eat yo flapjacks and shadude mem money makers do u read me

god damn girl u are as cute has honey from Ouran

belarus isnt love crazy about Russia anymore ok she hates him now

her eyes are now set on America's corpse

did I mention he died like fo serious haaaa bye hamburgebiotech

who killedAmerica'?kind out in chapter 10


	10. KING FRANCE

hello chapter 10 hoes and crackpots

"hey you slutfucks from whore island" the sexy France has arrived!

oops HES GOT A GUN EVERYBODY RUN

BOOM down goes the tranny

BOOM dowin goes Mayor McCheese

BOOM down goes an egg

BOOM down goes Grell

hahahahahahhahahah bitches beware ur new King of Nations, France, has inaugurated himself hahha

his first order of business?! BRING IN THE DANCING LOBSTERS

"I got a 69 on my math test,does that make me retarded?!" France cried out

too bad everyone hp was dead so no one heard him

all of a sudden amysterious voice cried out to King France

"YOURE A HUGE SLUT! GUYS GUYS KING FRANCE IS A SLUT MAKE SURE TO LET HIM KNOW HOW SLUTTY HE IS LOLZ SLUTVILLE,USA IS LITERALLY HIS HOMETOWN SPREAD THE WORD!"

at that moment, all of France's confidence had left the room

bye bye


	11. KING FRANCE'S INSULT CORNER

chapter 11 hoes

king France saw Romania on a porch wall and decided to tell him off

THAT WAS HIS PROPERTAY

"AHEM" he cleared his throat

hehehehe it's time

**~~King France's Insult Corner~~**

Target: ROMANIA

Insult Level: HANSEL AND GRETEL REALNESS

You sir are a stupid dumb**** who doesn't deserve a dick. Unless you are a girl then you don't deserve your pussy. Please go replace your pancreas with a bowling ball and skydive into into man-eating animal infested waters wherein you survive without a dick, without a sphincter, without an ear, or even your nutsack. Or better yet, thread a needle with a string, then dip it in saltwater and jam it through your testicles, then put the same exact string in both of your eyeballs where it will mold and cause you to go blind. So then you will need a seeing eye dog named Butch who will chew on your infected nutsack every day for the rest of your life. When you get him to lick the peanut butter off, he'll somehow manage to choke on your tiny little shaft. Then he will die causing you to cry out of your blind eyes and you will be left helpless crying for your dead testy chewing dog in the street while you are mowed down by a guy in a powder blue Prius and live in pain for exactly 666 minutes before you die finally exiling you to hell. THEN (no i am NOT done) Satan's minions will chew out your kidneys and stuff them in your ass that doesn't have a sphincter then when you talk you will sound like Al Quaeda and be pelted with rocks everywhere you go until you are hated enough to be let into the tenth chamber of hell where your immortal soul will burn for tens of hundreds of thousands of centuries without any **** breaks until you ****ing explode and guts go everywhere and your wife (who is not missing you at all cause she's ****ing your cousin Steve) gets hit with your gay ass bowling ball pancreas and she dies and also goes to Hell to be raped by lava demons, where she'll get her **** burned off for eternity, but your soul goes to Super Hell where they convert you to a cat ****ing atheist with no liver and then they will torture you with your dead dog butch's soul and he will chew the remaining pieces of your infected nutsack off until he is forced to chew off your entire dick and shove it down your throat. You'll choke, die, and got to Extreme Hell and have your dick replaced with Hitler's dick and then they send you back up to Earth where you find a sign sticking out of your head that says 'I have Hitler's nuts!' And then when Jews read it they will get their dogs to chew out your new balls and rip off your face and then you die and go to Butch Hell and 100,000,000,000,000,000,000 Butch clones chew your balls for ever and ever and ever! Eventually one of the clones will eat your last bit of nutsack off and you will be crying from so much pain that they kick you out of Butch hell and send you back to Earth where you are forced live in an apartment with over 9,000 gay people in New Jersey until Richard Simmons breaks in your house through your toilet and forces you to do hours and hours of dancing to the oldies. And just when you think it's all over, Carrot Top comes over to do some prop comedy for you. Then, after breaking your leg, a giant koala bear breaks in through your window and chews the other off. Then you, laying there, legless Pedobear breaks in through your shower and pokes a hole in your cheek which he sticks his wang in until there's a huge meteor shower which rips through your body, and leaves you alive to feel nothing but pain and suffering. All other human beings are dead but yourself, and you can't move. Your only food comes from the occasional cockroach that climbs in through a hole in your cheek (that Pedobear made from poking you so much) and walks down close enough to your throat so you can swallow and the cum you got from Pedobear raping you. Then 30 years later, bunch of ass robot-pirate-bears come for you and start poking even more holes in your body 'till you bleed to death and go back to Butch hell where you belong. Then when the Butch clones want nothing to do with you (because one of them ate your testicles off) please skin yourself with a rusty pizza cutter then pour chew tobacco and alcohol all over yourself, shove a rake up your butt and make yourself an anus just to pull it back out and tie it around a stalagmite in which you hang yourself on, then hollow out the inside of your dick and wrap the outer skin around your lips the piss and cum stream going into your mouth, stick needles in your eyeballs and **** up your nose then stick a dagger into both your eardrums and scalp yourself, put a nail on your skull then hit it with a hammer multiple times then tear your jaw off its hinge and nail it to your chin, stretch your uvula out of your mouth then wrap it around your face, cut your face down to the bone and snap both your elbows and knees rib your feet and hand off and stab all the bone ends into your lungs, then cut open your stomach and expose all your organs, grabbing your intestine and making it into a noose, then rub honey all over yourself and watch as hellbugs and hellcrabs and small hellanimals crawl all over you and start to eat you alive for days as you lay in your own stinking pile of **** piss and sperm going into your mouth as hellrats and hellbugs and hellwasps nest living inside your organs and then splash stomach acid all over your face and chew on your own muscles and organs and tongue to prevent starvation and hellanimals crawl through your neck you choke on a hellporcupine and get spikes sticking through your jugulars and throat, then disconnect all your veins and arteries and stick the ends in your nose as blood comes shooting up your nose and filling your skull and shooting out through the small holes in your eyes caused by the needles then after months drown in your own ****. Eventually you'll wake up still with the **** on your face, surprised to see that you have all your body parts and get raped by Michael Jackson who died from looking at your face. then he cums on your bowling ball pancreas untill EVERY Butch clone comes and chews his nuts off and then the Butch clones cum on your pancreas and your face explodes. You come back as a 13 year old sexy Jewish girl in 1945, where you are in a concentration camp and you get gang raped by 666 Nazis and even Hitler himself gets so turned on by your sexiness that he ties you to the ground and smacks your face with his dick, trying to force you to give him a blowjob until he crushes your head and your brains come out and it dries to the ground so you are stuck there being cock slapped by Hitler, Michael Jackson, and your cousin Steve (who turned out to be weaselfan) until he dies and leaves you there until you die and go to hell, Satan rapes your family who is also dead. Then you try to save them and get hit by a warthog and Master Chief rapes you 7 times until his shield goes down and then he gets killed by the Arbiter who also rapes you until you have six new **** holes. You'll then lose all your precious body fluids through your new **** holes and you ****ing evaporate. You wake up in your room, still a sexy Jewish chick, but now you're lesbian and you have a penis and you got Hitler's nuts back. You don't want to be a shemale so you go in your garage and force your dick into a toaster but you just crush and toast your nuts, you are too much of a pussy to finish the job. Your junk now dangle by a small piece of skin which you tear off to use to choke your mom who accidentally eats them and dies and you **** her corpse until her rotten **** infuses with your small pecker and you're stuck ****ing her until you die and go to Incest is Best Hell still ****ing your mom to be raped in the ass by Satan himself who will eventually get his dick infused with your butthole so you'll be walking around with your mom and Satan ****ing you until their members rot off. You pump your mom's corpse's stomach and get your nuts and glue them back on and after escaping the seven layers of hell where you were forced to stick your head up a million goatses, you finally make it back to Earth where you wind up somewhere in Nevada and you accidentally digest a cactus from your rectum and then when you ask an albino for directions to the nearest hospital, he ends up being Pedobear in disguise who rapes you in your ass that is filled with cactus quills and he impales his dick and it gets stuck in there. He tries to squirm it out but it gets ripped off and he dies and goes to some dimension inhabited by horny naked girls. Lucky him. A few weeks later you befriend a black furry, emo, stoner chick and one day you get really high and **** her. She leans over and notices your testicles are crushed and toasted and she leaves you and becomes satanic so she can go to hell and have a several way with your old girlfriend, some lava demons and now a gigantic foot. You get depressed and cut your dick off and bleed to death where you go to hell to see the hot sex both of your girlfriends are (no longer) forced to have with lava demons and the foot. This causes them pleasure but you can't get a boner or whack off because you cut off your dick, dumbass. While you are watching the three get it on in a semen covered gory, footy, orgasm, Hitler comes over, stares deeply at you then whispers in your ear "I want my nuts back" and he grabs your... I mean Hitler's nuts and pulls them until he accidentally pops one of them and his hand gets covered in his own sperm which turns him gay and he starts ****ing you in the ******* but his shaft gets stuck in your butthole with Pedobear's dick and you take a very hard **** and you **** out both of their dicks fall out and you have watch Hitler eat the ****ty, dicky concoction (see what I did there?) and puke them back up until your dick grows back. When it finally does, you develop a lava demon on black emo on feet on your first girlfriend fetish and you get the bad urge to jump in but you can't because you're in hell and all you can do is watch. You can't even whack off to it either or your dick would fall off and you'd have to watch Hitler eat it and puke it until it grows back.

all of the land of Hetalia was SHOCKED

jaws were being wiped off the floor

It was time for Romania's reply

a kel michell appears!

"awwww here it goes"

"What the fu** d*id you just fu*cking say about me, you little bit*ch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. You think you can get away with saying that sh*it to me over the Internet? Think again, fu*cker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fu*cking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps you little sh*it. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fu*cking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you godd*amn *."

"ROMANIA YOU LITTLE POTTY MOUTH" God spoke

"SHUT THE FUCK UP GOD I'M LIKE WIPING THE FLOOR WITH HIS HOE HAHA" The Almighty White Mistress, King France replied

all of a sudden Ukraine came to Romania's aid

"don't worry Romania, I'll help you!" Romania's heart skipped a beat

someone wanted to help him 3

ROUND 2 BITCH

**~~King France's Insult Corne: Round 2~~**

Target: ROMANIA and UKRAINE

Level: SERVIN' UP THE DEMON BARBER OF FLEET STREET REALNESS

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, you couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel. You are a canker, an open wound. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You took your last vacation in the Islets of Langerhans. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, and a weasel. I take that back; you are a festering pustule on a weasel's rump. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big * on a sour lemon.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. You are a technicolor yawn. And did I mention that you smell?

You are a squeaking rat, a mistake of nature and a heavy-metal bagpipe player. You were not born. You were hatched into an unwilling world that rejects the likes of you. You didn't crawl out of a normal egg either, but rather a mutant maggot egg rejected by an evil scientist as being below his low standards. Your alleged parents abandoned you at birth and then died of shame in recognition of what they had done to an unsuspecting world. They were a bit late.

Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it ever so much more rapidly. If cluelessness were crude oil, your scalp would be crawling with caribou.

You are a thick-headed trog. I have seen skeet with more sense than you have. You are a few bricks short of a full load, a few cards short of a full deck, a few bytes short of a full core dump, and a few chromosomes short of a full human. Worse than that, you top-post. God created houseflies, cockroaches, maggots, mosquitos, fleas, ticks, slugs, leeches, and intestinal parasites, then he lowered his standards and made you. I take it back; God didn't make you. You are *'s spawn. You are Evil beyond comprehension, half-living in the slough of despair. You are the entropy which will claim us all. You are a green-nostriled, crossed eyed, hairy-livered inbred trout-defiler. You make Ebola look good.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have * with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are not ANSI compliant and your markup doesn't validate. You have a couple of address lines shorted together.

**=the king has spoken=**


	12. QUEEN UKRAINE

chapter 12

King France wasn't done... yet

**AHEM**

You should be promoted to Engineering Manager.

Do you really expect your delusional and incoherent ramblings to be read? Everyone plonked you long ago. Do you fantasize that your tantrums and conniption fits could possibly be worth the $0.000000001 worth of electricity used to send them? Your life is one big W.O.M.B.A.T. and your future doesn't look promising either. We need to trace your bloodline and terminate all siblings and cousins in order to cleanse humanity of your polluted genes. The good news is that no normal human would ever mate with you, so we won't have to go into the sewers in search of your *.

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a loathsome disease, a drooling inbred cross-eyed toesucker. You make Quakers shout and strike Pentecostals silent. You have a version 1.0 mind in a version 6.12 world. Your mother had to tie a pork chop

around your neck just to get your dog to play with you. You believe that P.D.Q. Bach is the greatest composer who ever lived. You prefer L. Ron Hubbard to Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle. Hee-Haw is too deep for you. You would watch test patterns all day if the other inmates would let you.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. Spammers look down on you. Phone * operators hang up on you. Telemarketers refuse to be seen in public with you. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. May you choke on your own foolish opinions. You are a Pusillanimous galactophage and you wear your sister's training bra. Don't bother opening the door when you leave - you should be able to slime your way out underneath. I hope that when you get home your mother runs out from under the porch and bites you.

You smarmy lagerlout *. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking half-twit. You dankish clack-dish *. You gormless crook-pated *. You bloody churlish boil-brained clot pole ponce. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You cockered bum-bailey *. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill. May your spouse be blessed with many *.

You are so clueless that if you dressed in a clue skin, doused yourself in clue musk, and did the clue dance in the middle of a field of * clues at the height of clue mating season, you still would not have a clue. If you were a movie you would be a double feature; _Battlefield_Earth_ and _Moron_Movies_II_. You would be out of focus.

You are a fiend and a sniveling coward, and you have bad breath. You are the unholy spawn of a bandy-legged hobo and a syphilitic camel. You wear strangely mismatched clothing with oddly placed stains. You

are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just knowing that you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away. You are jetsam who dreams of becoming flotsam. You won't make it. I beg for sweet death to come and remove me from a world which became unbearable when you crawled out of a harpy's lair.

It is hard to believe how incredibly stupid you are. Stupid as a stone that the other stones make fun of. So stupid that you have traveled far beyond stupid as we know it and into a new dimension of stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid cubed. Trans-stupid stupid. Stupid collapsed to a singularity where even the stupons have collapsed into stuponium. Stupid so dense that no intelligence can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot summer day on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one minute than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. It cannot be possible that anything in our universe can really be this stupid. This is a primordial fragment from the original big stupid bang. A pure extract of stupid with absolute stupid purity. Stupid beyond the laws of nature. I must apologize. I can't go on. This is my epiphany of stupid. After this experience, you may not hear from me for a while. I don't think that I can summon the strength left to mock your moronic opinions and malformed comments about boring trivia or your other drivel. Duh.

The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of your of what you wrote, because, well ... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things to be difficult. If I had known that this was true in your case then I would have never have exposed myself to what you wrote. It just wouldn't have been "right." Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, EDLINoid, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dyspeptic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-*, puerile, and Generally Not Good.

King France took a heavy breath before uttering those "FINISH HIM" words

**fat bitch**

UKRAINE burst into tears

"HOW FUCKING DARE YOU PIECE OF SHIT"

Oh yes bitch

**it's Ukraine's turn now**

and

guess

what

she's serving up for you miss cunty hunty

**QUEEN OF SHEBA CLEOPATRA REALNESS YES CHALD**

and

gurl

watch out

she's goin' in guns-a'blazin and she

is

**SLAYING MISS THING**

you are a fucking no good cock sucking mother fucker and you will pay the price for what you've done you pig fucker you mother fucker you fist fucker you bike seat sniffing grandmother dry humping dildo up the ass riding no good cum swallowing dirt bag mother fucker i'm going to get you and when i do i'm going to fist fuck you then i'm going to piss on you then i'm going to dump gasoline all over you then i'm going to light your fucking ass up and watch you slowly burn you fucking asshole you fucking nobody you fucking douchbag you fucking rat you fucking narc you fucking cockchugger you fucking good for nothing mother fucker did you think that i wouldn't care that you did what you did did you think that you were being some sort of hero for doing it do you feel like some sort of hero well hero you better find some superpowers because im going to come over to your place later and stick my size 12 in your fucking cock fucked ass and beat your fucking cum and shit stained face to a pulp and leave you for the alligators to eat and whatever is left over im going to feed to the pigs they'll never find you again you ball sniffer you overgrown taint you syphillus infected cum bubble you bloody vaginal fart you are lower than the lowest form of cum drinking scumbag mother fucker on this planet i wouldnt give a rats ass if your whole family goes up in smoke i wouldnt care if they were shot raped burned lynched pistol whipped drug behind some rednecks pickup truck and then they fed the little chunks that were left to the buzzards they wouldnt even eat you you fuckling waste of space watch your back you fucking nobody you ruined it for me and i will not forget it you gonna wish you never fucked with me you are gonna beg me for mercy as i twist your ugly face off your head and kick it up your fat ass your stinking shit stained good for nothing sit around and play with yourself all day ass bitch im gonna get you dont think i dont know who you are either dont think you can sit behind the anonymous name you used on the blog because in the admin section it collects everyones ip address just because you are the biggest fucking idiot ive ever met here is a quick definition IP Address (Internet Protocol Address) A unique number consisting of 4 parts separated by dots, eg (look familiar?) Every machine that is on the Internet has a unique IP address - if a machine does not have an IP address, it is not really on the Internet that means that your computer tells the computer that my blog is sitting on exactly who you are you fucking good for nothing cow ass licker oh just wait until i get my hands on you because i know exactly who the fuck you are ohhhh just wait because you are going to beg me to stop raping you with the biggest blunt object i can find in your shithole little house after i kick in your door do you think this will be the first time that it has come to this do you think that im just some dumb redneck schmuck who would just let you get away with this because if you did you will be waking up later tonight from your quiet little slumber with a huge angry white motherfucker looking down at you. my advice would be to leave now and run far far away but thats not far enough ... watch your back because even if you think that the distance between us will save you i have plent of cash to pay someone enough money to do exactly what i am imagining it will be a couple of crack heads and heroine addicts who will do anything for a few weeks of blow and smack do you know what those mother fuckers will do for me think about it because you better leave me an apology after this.

Ukraine walking away with ultimate class - eol_images/Entire_

sorry King France but there's a new Queen in town

**QUEEN UKRAINE BOW THE FUCK DOWN BITCH**

**it's Ukraine's World now**

* * *

as Ukraine was walking away as the winner of that battle, she had one final thing to say

and boy would it hurt

"YA tebe nenavydzh. Vy vidsich mene. Pomerty v yamu, persh nizh udaryty tebe uvi sni dvadtsyatʹ p'yatʹ raziv . Rumuniya ye nachalʹnykom. Rumuniya povynna nazavzhdy zalyshytʹsya moïm korolem.

"Я тебе ненавиджу. Ви відсіч мене. Померти в яму, перш ніж ударити тебе уві сні двадцять п'ять разів. Румунія є начальником. Румунія повинна назавжди залишиться моїм королем."

boom bitch get out of my fucking way

**it must suck being ugly**

**GOOD THING SHE'S NOT HAAAAA**


	13. BOOTYLICIOUS

"No! You can't do this!" Romania was finished. King France had enough of his bullshit. He was ready to end Romania's sad fucking life. The worst part of all this... Ukraine wouldn't be able to save him. Restrained by King France's minions (Belgium and Netherlands), Ukraine's strength was slowly deteriorating. She didn't have much left.

"Die by my mighty sword, you filthy mucus crumb!" KING FRANCE CHOPPED DAT BITCH'S HEAD OFF SHAW NOUGH

**GET CRUNK, KING FRANCE IS DRUNK, TIME TO BRING DOWN THE FUNK**

**UKRAINE, CAN YOU HANDLE THIS? **

**BELGIUM, CAN YOU HANDLE THIS?**

**NETHERLANDS, CAN YOU HANDLE THIS? **

**I DON'T THINK THEY CAN HANDLE THIS!** (if you get what song this is, you're a god)

"Looks like it's time... to sing! Hehehehehehehehehehehehehe!" A wild microphone appears, accompanied by large speakers and an audience!

~~~King France is **BOOTYLICIOUS**~~~

"give me a motherfucking beat" it's time

**TIME TO TWERK IT, KING FRANCE STYLE**

Better move, 'cause we've arrived

Lookin' sexy, lookin' fly

Baddest chick, chick inside

DJ, jam tonight

Spotted me, a tender thang

There you are, come on baby

Don't you wanna dance with me?

Can you handle, handle me?

You gotta do much better

If you're gonna dance with me tonight

You gotta work your jelly

If you're gonna dance with me tonight  
Read my lips carefully, if you like what you see

Move, groove, prove you can hang with me

By the looks I got you shook up and scared of me

Buckle your seatbelt, it's time for takeoff

I don't think you're ready for this jelly! I don't think you're ready for this jelly! I don't think you're ready for this'!

**CAUSE MY BODY'S TOO BOOTYLICIOUS FOR YA BABE**

* * *

King France was on **FIRE** OMG

He was flaming up the stage and no one could touch his realness

Serving up some Destiny's Child betch

ONE MORE TIME

I don't think you're ready for this jelly

I don't think you're ready for this jelly

I don't think you're ready for this'

**Cause my body's too bootylicious for ya babe!**

"*pant* *pant* *pant* That's what you get, you hoes"

"wait... you actually thought i was done? HAAAAA bitch the show just started, you better get popcorn and a good seat"

Move your body up and down

Make your booty touch the ground

I can't help but wonder why

My vibe's too **vibealacious** for you babe

I shake my jelly at every chance

When I whip with my hips you slip into a trance

I'm hoping you can handle all this jelly that I have

Now let's cut a rug while we scat some jazz

Bapadee nooo bapadeee noo dayyy nooo dayyy nooo

**TAKE IT AWAY QUEEN UKRAINE **

oh what's that? cat's got your tongue? Let me ask you one more time...

**UKRAINE, CAN YOU HANDLE THIS? **

**BELGIUM, CAN YOU HANDLE THIS?**

**NETHERLANDS, CAN YOU HANDLE THIS? **

**I DON'T THINK THEY CAN HANDLE THIS!**

"FUCK YOU! YOU KILLED ROMANIA, MY ONLY LOVE! I'M SO SICK OF ALL DIS! LIKE FO SERIOUSLY I'M SICK OF THE STUPID SHIT THAT KEEPS HAPPENING I WANT EVERYTHING TO GO BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS" **Queen Katyusha Braginskaya of Ukraine **presiding.

"yeah! i'm sick of this too!" Belgium added

"fuck you... sack of goat milk" Netherlands bitchly added as well

King France at this point was **MMMMAAAAADDD** like steaming overpouring tea **MMMAMAAAADDDDD**

"Wow... I guess you really cant handle this jelly... Hehehehehehehe" Ugh that annoying laugh never gets old coming from the King 3

"I guess It's time to... **FINISH YOU**"

**ONE**

**MORE **

**TIME **

**BRING DA SMOKE MACHINE**

Here we go

**UKRAINE, CAN YOU HANDLE THIS? **

**BELGIUM, CAN YOU HANDLE THIS?**

**NETHERLANDS, CAN YOU HANDLE THIS? **

**I DON'T THINK THEY CAN HANDLE THIS!**

"Huh?" A mysterious figure swooped in and KO'd King France! OH MY

WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO QUEEN UKRAINE AND THE ROYAL FUCK TARDS BELGIUM AND NETHERLANDS? WHO IS THE MASKED FIGURE?! **FIND OUT NEVER** HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE BYE


	14. MYSTERY REVEALED

it is I, the marvelous AUSTRALIA! I am here to bid farewell to this monarchy and to overthrow King France!

King France was in shock "how dare you defy me, you peasant! it's time to taste DEATH!" King France shot a green fireball at Australia, but he swiftly dodges!

"MWAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAAHHAH yourfoolishness is trifling and will not work on the MIGHTY KING FRANCE!" Ukraine pushed King France on the floor and spit on his love purple nightie

"TAKE THAT YOU BITCH! I'M SO SICK OF BEING IN THE WORL. WITH YOUR ANNOYING ASS! LET'S GO BELGUIM AND NETHERLANDS, WE DON'T NEED THIS CRAP ANYMORE!"

King France's nose was broken (poor Francis =[) Queen Ukraine had successfully done it, she has overthrown the King of Hetalia

Australia you worthless piece of egg you did nothing to help

"i can't believe this... did I get... defeated by a woman?!"

Ukraine was livid "WHAT, YOU DON'T THINK A WOMAN IS CAPABLE?! LOOK AT YOU, YOU'RE DYING ON THE FLOOR AND I BEAT YOU WITH ONE HIT! Take that!"

And thus King France's reign as Ruler of all Hetalia Land was over

A new reign, however, was just starting

Queen Ukraine, of course! Withher loving husband, Australia by her side, nothing could stop her

SUDDENLY A GUNSHOT PIERCED THROUGH BELGUIM AND NETHERLAND'S CHESTS OMG

UKRAINE AND AUSTRALIA TRIED TO SAVE THEM BUT IT WAS TOO LATE

"heheheheheheeh it's ever over yet... twats"

can you guess who the mystery assassin is?!

find out in chapter 15 BITCHES


	15. WORLD WAR 3

"fuck you asshole" the assassin twisted her legs and arms and transformed into a teacup

"who goes there?!" Ukraine was flabbergasted utterly flabbergasted

"it is I... Belarus!" ...

"Belarus... what the fuck are you doing here? arent you supposed to be with Russia and the others... WHY DID YOU KILL MY MANLY MEN"

"its simple really... i want power, so ill invade you and take over Ukraine as my own k? k. Soon, Belarus-Russia will emerge!"

huh

**what**

**the**

**actual**

**flying**

**donkey**

**butt**

**fuck?**

?

"um Belarus it doesnt work that way... you see Austria-Hungary had a ring to it... Belarus-Russia sounds like you're throwing up cow liver"

Belarus was insulted to no end

HOW DARE HER SISTER SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT D;

"it doesnt matter"

"what does then?"

"duh, Belarus-Russia will emerge as one and Ukraine will be blown off the map!" Ukraine was utterly confused and not intimidated by Belarus at all really

"um what are you talking about like Russia would never agree to invade and conquer me and create a new country like ffs..."

Belarus was fed up at this point

"you can rule your country however you want cow bell" cow bell was Raine's nickname for Belarus, it was rather dashing

"fuck you bitch, i have a gun" Belarus fired a warning shot at Ukraine, but it missed

"what are you going to do, kill me?" Belarus chuckled

"haha no, but they will kidnap you… consider your reign as Queen diminished BETCH"

suddenly, armed guards, accompanied by Russia with the new Belarus-Russia flag, raided from all angles

one shot Ukraine and Australia, sleeping, with a tranquilizer

**"UKRAINE, CAN YOU HANDLE THIS?"**

**"AUSTRALIA, CAN YOU HANDLE THIS?"**

**"HAHA, CAN YOU HANDLE THIS?"**

**"I DON'T THINK THEY CAN HANDLE THIS!"**

**it has happened **

Belarus and Russia have conquered Ukraine has their own

Ukraine will now become a part of the Belussia Nation

in months to come, Austria, Australia, Sweden, France, Germany, Italy, Netherlands, Greece, Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, Finland, Romania, Georgia, Austria, Slovakia, Moldova, and most importantly Hungary all become part of the Belussia Nation

is there any hope for any country to fight back?

will the Belussia Nation ever be stopped?

**get ready, bitches**

guess what time it is?

**WORLD** **WAR 3!**

**NOT TO FORGET BABY SEXY TIME!**

**Yes Belarus and Russia did have a baby girl**

They named her** Sazarah**

she was so loved that she got a country named after her

previously Latvia, Estonia and Lithuania, Belarus and Russia merged the trio to create Sazarah

take that you irrelevant fucks

now she's forever with her mummy and daddy aw :')


End file.
